Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

– Psalm 23:4

Most of the time when I've read this verse, I've thought of it in terms of physical or spiritual attack. External battle coming against me.

Recently though it has taken on a new meaning. The path into holiness and union with God is through the valley of death.

The Apostle Paul says in Romans 6:23 that "the wages of sin is death" and I have found that I must journey through the valley of my own sin to find union with Him and the holiness He calls me to. I must journey through my self-centeredness, pride, and self-pity. Through all of my bad choices and indulgences. And, through my attempts to cover them over and blow past them.

When I pray Psalm 51:10 or Psalm 139:23-24. I am not just asking God to clean house. I am asking God to take me on a journey through the valley of the shadow of death.

I have to admit, it's painful to go there. To remember. It's hard when I am brought face-to-face with my sin. But then I did ask for it.

In Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus tells us:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

And so, like David in the Psalms, I asked. And I received. Boy, did I receive!

I received a clear vision of the depravity of my sins and the full weight of the nuances and self-life behind them.

Many times, this is where we get stuck. The World and the Evil One, in an attempt to keep us separated from God and others, load up the shame and guilt to the point where we give up. That was my first inclination, but if we stay with Jesus, He has more.

He tells us to move on. To go forward and seek and find. What are we to seek and what will we find? Forgiveness.

I sought and received His forgiveness.  True to his word, by his blood we are purified[1] and by his stripes we are healed[2]. Forgiveness is an amazing and very much welcome gift, but thankfully my journey didn't end there!

After asking and seeking, Jesus tells us to knock. Here is where we must make an intentional choice. We take action and choose. If we are willing, this is the place where we move into the verb form of faith ... trust.

As I repented and turned from my sins, God opened the door to healing and restoration. As I repent and turn, I am healed and restored to sonship and into union with God and the holiness He calls me to.

The asking was easy ... I don't believe I really knew what I was asking for. But thankfully God takes us at our word. Receiving the truth of my sin was powerfully painful. More painful than I expected. As I said, my first inclination was to throw in the towel and give up. But don't do it. Don't waste the pain. Use the clarity and understanding God provides through the pain to motivate you forward. To seek forgiveness and then, to knock on and walk through the open door of redemption.

It is through this journey that we find holiness and union with God. It is there that I truly began to understand what it means to walk with God in the valley of the shadow of death without fear. Because, yes, God is with me. I am comforted by his rod and staff because, while they are instruments of correction, He used them to lead me, with love, back to the "paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

Three Miles An Hour

[1] 1 John 1:7

[2] Isaiah 53:5

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